I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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