Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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