What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
