I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
