hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
