This house was built for laser tag.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
