The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
