What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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