haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize