Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
