When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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