You're so nebulous sometimes
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
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I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize