"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
