Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize