Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
