Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had sex on a roof
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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