Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i barfeds in our rink
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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