Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
