I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
