yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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