The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
