Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
