I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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