you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
