I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
