I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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