What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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