So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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