I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
