He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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