life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
