Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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