Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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