Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
