Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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