no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
