He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
