How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
