I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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