I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
