The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
