I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
