He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
