Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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