how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
