Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
