I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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