You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
how drunk are you?
Several
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
