i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
