it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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