using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
