Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
