I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
only you would photoshop your dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
