Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
