Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
