He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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