You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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