Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize