Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
