Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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